Tuesday, December 20, 2011


I need to send in Tyler's application for DDD services.

I don't want to.

Dealing with a condition like Autism (Asperger's in the Autism Spectrum) is so complicated to me because it is so not cut and dry.

Especially in the church world.

When Tyler was first diagnosed, with the consent of Pastor, we jumped onto the treatment bandwagon. At one point we were taking Tyler to four different things a week.

In my opinion, most of it was pointless. Well, okay, maybe it was good in that it was a social outlet for him, and I guess that is a large part of the point.

But we didn't see him get "better".

So I prayed and asked God what to do, that I hated running around like this. All at once, it seemed, the classes either ended or there was an insurance problem and we couldn't go anymore. Except for one therapy session per week that we do still go to.

And still I feel adrift. Should I try to do more and enroll him in all these classes, sessions, etc that frankly are a lot of man's wisdom, or do I just continue to keep him home with me and do my best? Am I doing my best? Or is that just a selfish desire and I should be out there advocating for him and trying to kick down every single door that I can?

I have no idea.

This past Sunday night Pastor preached "When God Stands Up" and one of the things he said was, to paraphrase

You didn't ask for this situation. You're not sure how you got into it or how you'll get out. You don't know what to do or which way to turn. You need God to stand up and speak peace right now.

Yeah, that's me.

So, this post really has no conclusion. Don't know if it ever will. Just me and my jumbled thoughts as I stare at this application and pray for God to stand up.


  1. I just recently purchased a song called "Didn't I Walk On the Water". I love it. He's done "it" before and He will do it all again. I'll be praying for/with you, sister...

  2. I found your Blog...I'm sure it was God...God is always there with us as we deal with "our special" children...God Bless